Kareena Kapoor on why she took her time before marrying Saif Ali Khan: 'Best decision'

Kareena Kapoor Khan once candidly acknowledged that she took her time before saying yes to Saif Ali Khan for marriage. "I think it was just that we were making Tashan...the movie that we met on. We were shooting in Greece...I think over there...he did think...he told me, we should get married. He told me that in Greece...and he told me once in Ladakh as well when we were shooting a song, that we'd make a great couple..." Kareena recollected in a 2018 conversation on her show, What Women Want.

Kareena, who got married to Saif in 2012, added, "I was just like, I don't know you...it wasn't really a no...it was just that I want to know you better...but I think...I made the best decision of my life...as of now...Yes, I do feel that."

Taking a leaf from her candid confession, let's understand how taking time to get to know a potential partner better helps.

It is often about self-awareness, relational insight, and emotional maturity, said Delnna Rrajesh, psychotherapist and life coach.

I want to get to know you better is not a rejection of love, it is a desire for depth, context, and longevity. "In relationships, the phrase take time can feel ambiguous, even uncomfortable. But it serves an essential psychological function. It gives two individuals the space not just to fall in love, but to understand love. There is a profound difference between the two," said Delnna.

"Falling in love is chemistry. It is an attraction. It is emotional acceleration. It is the experience of "this feels right. Understanding love is in context. It is patterns. It is coping styles. It is knowing how someone responds when life is not smooth. Love that bypasses the knowing phase often hits obstacles later -- when stress emerges, when conflict arises, when boundaries are tested."

Psychologically, the earliest phase of a relationship is dominated by the ventral vagal nervous state: curiosity, excitement, approach, reward. "But long-term relationships require co-regulation i.e. two nervous systems learning how to soothe each other, not just exhilarate each other," said Delnna.

According to the expert, rushing into a life partnership without sufficient emotional data increases the risk of misattunement. "Partners discover after marriage that their conflict styles, emotional needs, communication rhythms, and even basic values differ. Then they must undo assumptions instead of building understanding," said Delnna.

There is also a cultural layer to this. "Social narratives often romanticise immediacy - whirlwind love, instant commitment, whirlwind proposals. These are beautiful in stories. In life, they are often unpredictable. Choosing to take time is not fear. It is relational intelligence," expressed Delnna.