Bhavana and Chunky Pandey celebrated 29 years together by sharing their secrets to a happy marriage. Chunky said, "When I go shopping, and I have to shop for Bhavana, I get butterflies." The couple keeps their bond strong by sharing memes and enjoying life now that their daughters grew up.
For Bhavana Pandey and Chunky Pandey, romance after 29 years together doesn't seem any less playful. Chunky says he still gets butterflies while shopping for her and Bhavana says she still laughs at his jokes. And even after nearly three decades together, they still seem to complete each other's sentences -- like the ideal sitcom couple who knows exactly what the other is about to say.
And, of course, in the age of algorithms and endless doomscrolling, they have their own love language: sharing memes in the family group.
In an exclusive video interview with indianexpress.com, the couple talks about what has changed, what has stayed the same and what life looks like now that their daughters have grown up.
Read the edited excerpts below:
Q. After all these years, what still gives you butterflies about each other?
Chunky: When I go shopping, and I have to shop for Bhavana, I get butterflies.
Bhavana: Ummm, for me... (thinking)
Chunky: You open my safe, or when I sneak up behind you.
Bhavana: Yeah, yeah, I think he has answered.
Q. It's often said that you end up dating many versions of the same person through a long marriage. Which version of each other has surprised you the most?
Bhavana: I think for me Chunky as a father has been the most surprising, in a good way. That's been the most beautiful chapter - parenting.
Chunky: It surprises me every day; it's beautiful.
Q. What's something you thought was terribly romantic in your 20s that would make you cringe now?
Chunky: I am still in my 20s; I don't know about you (looks at her as he laughs).
Bhavana: I think everything about the 20s was beautiful, and I actually miss those days, so I won't say anything was cringe.
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Q. Chunky, if you had to woo Bhavana all over again today, how would you do it?
Chunky: I want to find such a (gestures) big natural diamond and gift it to her. I really want to do that. I want to go on a diamond hunt.
Q. And Bhavana, if you had to choose a timeless gift for Chunky, what would it be?
Bhavana: I would give him a diamond-studded watch or anything to do with diamonds.
Q. The internet and Gen Z seem to come up with a new relationship term every other week -- benching, maybe-lationships, wildflowering, dial-toning and so on. What do you think of the shift in dating culture? Is there one relationship trend you'd happily erase?
Bhavana: I think they are just using these terms, but at the heart, they are all very romantic. That's what I feel. I think they have these terms just for fun.
Q. You've been together for 29 years now. Chunky, do you still get worked up over what to give Bhavana, or have you cracked the code by now?
Bhavana: He doesn't have to gift me anything. I buy and send him the bill. I think that's what works best in marriage.
Chunky: That's the only thing that should work.
Q. Sharing memes on Instagram has become a new love language. Do you two do that as well? What kind of reels would we find in each other's DMs?
Bhavana and Chunky: Yeah.
Chunky: We have a family group, and if we find anything funny, we keep putting stuff there.
Bhavana: I think some of the memes are just hysterical.
Chunky: So talented!
Bhavana: Even if they are on us.
Chunky: There are, and they are all so funny. Please keep making more.
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Q. Now that Ananya and Rysa are grown up and have their own lives, you two are empty nesters. How is this new phase treating you? Do you miss the little world you had with the girls, or are you enjoying having more time that's just yours again?
Chunky: I miss that... travelling with them, cuddling them and stuff. Now they are all grown up and on the way...
Bhavana: I think we actually spent a lot more time with each other also because of the kids, and that's (also) why we miss the kids.
Chunky: Because we used to take time off and make sure that we took them on holidays and vacations. Now everyone is working... we don't get time together.
Bhavana: And I don't think we ever missed spending time together because of the kids. I think it was because of them we actually spent more time together, so it was nice.
Q. Have there been moments when you've looked at each other and thought, "Oh, it's just us again"? Maybe more spontaneous trips, more dates, or simply having a completely free weekend together.
Bhavana and Chunky: A completely free weekend is great. (Both laugh.)
Q. If you had to cast two Bollywood actors to play the two of you in a film about your love story, who would you pick?
Chunky: I am a Bollywood actor, and she is a Bollywood wife, so there you are. Perfect casting. Dono filmy hain!
Q. Bollywood has always given us the classic "shaadi ka laddoo, jo khaaye woh bhi pachhtaaye, jo na khaaye woh bhi pachhtaaye" line. After 29 years of marriage, what's your verdict?
Bhavana: I think the endings are always happy, and that's what works.
Chunky: I am happily married. Bhavana is happy, and I am married (laughs).