Actor Rajeev Siddhartha on Kirti Kulhari: How their love story began by chance

Actor Rajeev Siddhartha recently recalled his love story with actor Kirti Kulhari, whom he first met on the sets of their OTT series Four More Shots Please! But love blossomed much later. In fact, he said the two had barely spoken while working together. "It just so happened that we sat next to each other on a flight. Before that, we were shooting the last scene in Four More Shots Please! on a beach where she looked at me and said, 'I am not coming for you'. Then we met on a flight. Sat next to each other. Another coincidence. We just kept talking. She and I stay like five minutes from each other. That was also a big coincidence. One thing led to another, and we realised we like each other's company," Rajeev expressed in a conversation on Deepak Pareek's YouTube podcast.

As a psychotherapist and a relationship breakthrough coach, Delnna Rrajesh said that we speak extensively about attraction, chemistry and sparks, but one of the most underrated foundations of a relationship is far quieter: Do I genuinely enjoy the company of this human being? Attraction makes us notice someone. Conversation allows us to discover them. Through conversation, we begin seeing humour, curiosity, values, emotional intelligence and worldview," said Delnna.

And then there is consistency. "Conversation can create a sense of intimacy remarkably quickly, but somebody can communicate beautifully and still behave inconsistently. Listen to words, but study patterns. Do promises and behaviour match? Are they dependable when life becomes inconvenient? Trust is built less through extraordinary gestures than through repeated ordinary reliability. Values matter enormously too. Two people can talk for hours and still want fundamentally different lives. Money, ambition, children, family involvement, fidelity, lifestyle, careers, caregiving and where one wants to live may initially seem far less romantic than chemistry, but eventually they become everyday life. Chemistry can connect two people whose lives cannot comfortably coexist," expressed Delnna.

Another question we rarely ask is whether both people can remain individuals. "Healthy love creates closeness without demanding self-erasure. Can you retain friendships, ambitions, interests and independent opinions? Can your partner celebrate your growth, or does your confidence, success, or independence begin to threaten the relationship?"

This matters because people change. "The person you choose today will not remain exactly the same ten years from now. Neither will you. A strong relationship needs enough space for two people to keep becoming. Reciprocity matters as well. Relationships are rarely mathematically 50:50 every day. During illness, pregnancy, career upheaval, grief or other difficult periods, one person may understandably carry more. But over time, notice who initiates, remembers, accommodates, repairs after conflict and carries the emotional labour. Temporary imbalance is life. Persistent one-sidedness becomes exhaustion."

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Chance can put two people next to each other. Chemistry can make them notice each other. Conversation can bring them closer. "But character, compatibility, consistency, reciprocity and respect determine much of what happens afterwards," shared Delnna.